You are a complicated, precious, brilliant and unique individual!
Yet, I bet you don’t treat yourself with the respect, love and compassion you deserve because you don’t feel the above statement is exactly true.
I bet that you are chronically critical of yourself and others and you have high expectations about where you” should” be in your life right now and how the world around you “should” be. Because you and your world don’t match your expectations you feel disappointed, frustrated, disconnected and confused.
Your life experiences have you feeling like “you’re not enough” and like something must be wrong with you, otherwise you would be “in the flow,” be happy and feel fulfilled. You’re wondering if it will ever get easier or if you will ever feel you are enough, at peace, happy and fulfilled.
Why, if you are so brilliant do you constantly and unconsciously bring yourselves down?
For survival. To feel safe
You think being critical will help you be better, keep you on your toes and ahead of any danger, but it doesn’t work that way. You are actually perpetuating your own woundedness and powerlessness.
If you feel there is something “wrong” with you, then you have an unconscious belief that it isn’t safe for you to be imperfect otherwise you will be ______________ (fill in the blank i.e. abandoned, killed, abused, humiliated, shamed, rejected…) by your tribe/family.
Yes, as a child you made vows that you believe are the undeniable truth of who you need to be and who you are to keep yourself safe, secure and connected to your tribe.
Your reptilian brain is searching for danger all day long, 24/7, and most of us are feeling unsafe a large part of the day. You feel vulnerable or aren’t perfect or don’t know how to do something. And when you don’t feel safe, you make life decisions out of fear and childhood programming that is not at all related to your current potential and possibilities. Your world becomes very small when you focus on how to feel safe now, rather than being in the moment and following expansive experiences that are aligned to you when you are open to receiving them.
Your first childhood vows are related to your 1st chakra and has to do with safety, security and loyalty to the family. Whether you feel safe or not influences all the other areas of your life. Feeling safe and secure or not is the foundation on which you build your live.
And the wobbly foundation built in childhood is why a lot of people move into some sort of crisis. Your challenges are here to help you re-calibrate your beliefs and clear your limiting vows to find out that it is not only possible but required for your well-being and happiness to live as who you truly are.
A vow is a reaction to a life trauma or perceived life trauma when a child doesn’t get the love and safety they need to be able to express who they truly are and what their needs are.
When it is not save or impossible to express who you are in a way that will be seen, heard, loved and received, a vow is created.
A vow is always going to be based on not being able to express your true self!
It has made a huge difference in my life to recognize where I wasn’t feeling safe and why. I have so much more fun, adventure, money, joy, peace, creativity, love, compassion and personal power now. I can stop my stress from imagined unconscious fears right away and make better choices for my current life in the direction I desire.
Treasure Hunt For What You Feel Unsafe About
Start noticing when you don’t feel safe and ask yourself:
“What is it I’m not feeling safe about?”
“What do you feel you can’t share about the true YOU?”
“What do you believe will be the consequence of you being you?”
“What do you believe about yourself right in that moment?” That you are somehow broken, not enough, not perfect, too much, too weak, not deserving, it’s impossible for you ….
Share with me what you find.
Stop the triggers for feeling unsafe and you will stop the stress response. Go to the root of your problems for feeling unsafe to be you and feeling unsafe in the world.
Understand that this is a programming, it is not true!
Say to yourself,”I AM SAFE! I HAVE NEVER BEEN IN THIS MOMENT BEFORE. I HAVE NO IDEA HOW IT WILL TURN OUT AND I WILL DO THE BEST I CAN IN THIS MOMENT.”
Because the truth is that unless you have a gun to your head, are being attacked or abused or in true immediate danger, you are safe.
Here are some popular 1st chakra vows that my clients and students have found they made as a child to feel safe, secure and loyal to their families.
Remember these vows are made with the intent that you will do whatever is necessary, even loose your SELF, in order to get your needs met and feel connected and loved.
- I vow to keep the tribe’s secrets
- I vow to always support my tribe
- I vow I’m not loved
- I vow to be loyal to my family through religious/political/human rights/money beliefs & choices
- I vow to never rest
- I vow to lie for my family and deny myself to be safe
- I vow to not have more (money, fun, pleasure, happiness, etc.) than my family
- I vow to never surpass anyone in the tribe
- I vow to reject my family/mother/father/culture
- I vow to never allow reward
How are these vows negatively impacting the decisions and actions you are making and taking currently? When you make vows to be like your family or to not be like them you are not choosing to BE YOU either.
Who are YOU when you feel empowered to be you?
You are a complicated, precious, brilliant and unique individual! and more….
Be Safe, BE YOU!