Do you have needs?
Of course you do, yet a lot of us have made VOWS as children to not ask to have our deepest needs met.
Why? Here are three major reasons.
1. We didn’t get our needs of love, shelter, attention, validation, nutrition, comforting, emotional support or safety met. The parents didn’t now how to care for themselves much less anyone else or they may have been a narcissist, drug/alcohol addicts, or have a mentally illness.
2. We didn’t feel safe; we would be humiliated by family or peers or ignored, a family member would become angry or upset when asking something of them, we would be physically harmed by calling attention to ourself…
3. We were taught that the individual wants/needs are not as important as the family/ tribe/religion/cultural wants. We are selfish if we consider our needs first.
The second chakra is where our self-image forms; our emotional identity. Our second chakra vows and beliefs help form our identity. The second chakra vow, that our deepest needs can’t be met has us cutting off our intimate relationship to the world and other people. We start designing our emotional, mental, spiritual and physical identity around other people’s perspectives rather than our own feelings, desires and needs.
We loose our own identity and start to believe we are too much, not good enough or not worthy enough to have what it is we desire. We feel broken and our soul’s desires and needs go unexpressed; they get buried deep down inside of us. This causes unhappiness, depression, apathy, and anxiousness… When we don’t express ourselves out into the world through our passions, desires and needs we feel not like ourselves, invisible, unheard, unhealthy, dull and bored.
The good news is that we can create new vows and breakthrough the old ones. So if you have taken this vow you can ask for help, receiving support, have healthy intimate relationships with others and money, as well as, get your needs met. Thrive, create, and appreciate!
Remember you are not your programming, beliefs, thoughts and emotions…you are acting them out.
Ask and You Will Receive: How to move forward
1. Recognize your Vows: Seeing your programming will allow you to manage it.
Get your journal and sit quietly and think back as far as you can to when you decided to make this vow. If you can’t remember get as close as you can and notice how your younger self came to the conclusion that they couldn’t ask for help.
2. Have compassion for the child you were: Let go of shame, guilt and negative judgments
How smart was that child to figure out how to take care of themselves! How clever the choices they made to help them survive in the family or tribe. Acknowledge the creativity and heart they had for surviving.
3. Feel your deepest needs; feel your feelings
Become awake to what you are feeling.
Feel your deepest desires and needs and write them down as they appear.
Throughout the day check in and ask,”what am I feeling?”
Ask yourself, “What do I feel about this situation, event, person….”
Your feelings are information for you. Start allowing yourself to receive it and trust it.
and ”what do I want to feel and what would bring me pleasure now?”
and then do/be/have it!
4. Picture your younger self and see what it was that you needed, desired…. make a note of it and give it to yourself.
Let that inner child know that they are safe with you (the adult) taking care of things now. It is safe to ask and receive what they need and desire.
5. Create a new vow like:
I am supported by everyone around me and Source. or My needs are always met!
Replace your old vows and beliefs with new vows that support you asking and receiving what you need and desire.
Create a movie in your mind seeing yourself doing, being, feeling, and having your needs met.
Play the movie daily feeling it all play out until it becomes your new reality.
Notice what other beliefs and vows were made from this core vow, it’s not safe to ask for help or have needs?
- I will never sound like a victim
- I will do everything myself
- I will be responsible for everything
- I’m not worthy, not good enough…
- Money/men/women aren’t there for me
- I will never be vulnerable
- I vow to never be taken advantage of, everyone is a potential predator
- I will never ask for money, love, commitment, support, luxury, pleasure, fun
- I will never trust anyone or I will trust everyone
- I won’t feel my feelings
- I will be perfect and then my needs will be met (love, money, friendships, attention…)
Here are ways you try and control your world and people when you believe you can’t get your needs met:
- being super needy
- by dominating
- being appearing self sufficient, strong and not having needs
- by being co-dependent, needing what others want
- by not being aware of you body and feelings
I believe it is helpful for you to see that it is your conditioning driving your choices and actions not your soul, the true you. To let go of the shame, guilt and judgments we have towards others and ourselves as a result of poor programming is healthy and uplifting for you and the world. It is necessary to break through the old vows and conditioning for you to live your purpose and passions, express your gifts and influence the world in a positive way.
You are never alone; it might just feel like it.
You are supported even if you have felt you aren’t.
Ask and you will receive if you allow the intimacy to take place.
You are worthy. Feel your feelings. Get intimate with yourself.
To you living a prosperous and juicy life,
If you are ready to breakthrough your vows and live a prosperous life
call me for a discovery session.