HO! HO! HO! or NO! NO! NO!

HO! HO! HO! or NO! NO! NO!

 

I don’t know about you but the holidays can have me bouncing from glee to dread. And the more I thought about what the holiday experience the more I saw how we can feel schizophrenic during the holiday because it brings out the BEST in us along with all our NEEDINESS.

 

I see three areas that can create crazy making moments

1. Money

2. Holiday Trauma

3. Healthy Conscious Pleasure/Fun vs Unconscious self-sabotage

Whatever holiday you celebrate, at this time of the year, spending money will create some form of stress for you, whether you have it or not. Because we have feelings that are connected to our beliefs about who we are relative to our savings, debt and income. We will feel stressed thinking about what presents to buy people, travel expenses, and food expenses… and what that means for our savings or debt, And if you don’t have enough you will then start criticizing yourself as “not being good enough” or/and blaming someone else in your life for being in this situation.

Because the Christmas season has been so commercialized we start feeling the stress related to money as soon as the Christmas music starts playing after Halloween. And unconsciously this builds and starts showing up in our life as little self -sabotaging moments.

Along with the money stress are the extra “have to do” high expectations we add to our already busy lives, such as decorating, entertaining, traveling, spending time with uncomfortable family members or friends and/or being social when you’re not in the mood…etc.

Now counter that money and “have to do” stress with the excitement and playfulness  of your inner child who remembers good feelings around receiving presents, eating sweets, special gatherings, baking goodies, playing in the snow, caroling, family traditions, shopping, giving presents, holiday smells, and volunteering to help others…etc.

Or you may have  traumatic memories of the holidays with your family that compounded with your money worries rocks the jingle out of any celebratory cell in your body. You dread the holidays! 

This roller coaster ride of feeling good and then feeling broken all within moments of each other makes us feel like we are CRAZY and overwhelms us.

So what do we do when we are stressed with Money Issues, High Expectations, Trauma, and Overwhelm?

We find ways to cope. Most of us haven’t been taught how to cope in a healthy manner, so we go unconsciously to the easiest way that we either learned from our parents or we created in childhood.

A coping mechanism is something we do to make ourselves feel “ok or better” when we don’t feel “ok” emotionally, physically, spiritually and mentally. 

Some unconscious coping examples are:

  • over-eating
  • over-drinking
  • drugs – self medicating
  • sexual addiction or sex to feel something, not love making
  • shopping without purpose or need
  • acting out-blowing up-projected anger, blaming 
  • creating drama, pulling others in as distraction or entertainment
  • leaving our body… I call this going dumb and numb (spacing out or taking flight)
  • with-draw or hide out
​What if you decided to choose a new way to live that would not stress you out as much and
would allow natural healthy coping mechanism for you? 

 

The stresses above are created from a shut down 2nd Chakra.

 

Briefly, a shut down 2nd Chakra is what we need after we meet our survival and basic needs. These include play, pleasure, deep connection, imagination, celebration and to be celebrated. 

 

When we have been programmed as child to not express our 2nd Chakra we become some variations of these expressions; excessively needy, feel broken, entitled, manipulative, aggressive, addicted, irresponsible, hateful, manipulate with sex, there is never enough, lose your sense of self and can be obsessive. 

 

Here are some conscious healthy coping mechanisms & daily choices that strengthen living from the light in your 2nd chakra and counter a stress filled life. 

  • Be in the present moment (get out of your head and into your body and become awake to what you are feeling and what is in your environment)
  • Be playful and silly 
  • Create pleasure in your life (sensual & sexual=life force energy) 
  • Create with passionate desire-feel what you want with your whole being
  • Experience someone deeply, (listen, empathetic & be with them where they are being your true self)
  • Let people feel, experience and see you vulnerable-you being your TRUE self
  • Hold your personal power (don’t let someone else make your decisions for you) & manage your life energy (well-being)
  • Feel deserving of asking and receiving
  • Feel your deepest needs and tend to them (these were formed when you were young)
  • First thing: to help stop the stress use some tapping to stop the fight or flight happening between your mind/body. This will give you a calm state of mind to plan or come up with new ideas/solutions.

     

    Here is my Youtube video for Tapping to Stop Overwhelm & Fight and Flight.

     

    Second: Choose one or two of the healthy choices from above to strengthen your sense of Self and open your 2nd Chakra up, so you can meet your own deepest needs. Adding one of these into your life will have you feeling more stable, grounded and supported.

     

    Reminder: You will have to give up some unhealthy activity to make room for the new pleasurable and fun actions you’ll be adding to your life.   

     

    Money Strategies: You don’t have to buy into the commercialism of the holidays. You get to design your holiday and do/be/have what is important to you and your family. 

     

    Create from your heart not from your fears or what you think other people want from you. 

     

    unnamed
    Anything from the heart is worth more than anything you could buy!
    Create with Pleasure, Connection and Play in mind & heart!
    Create some new traditions, write, paint, sing, dance, offer pleasurable moments and experiences that will deeply connect you to others and to yourself!

     

    Sorry I don’t know whose work this is! But I love it!

     
     

    Make this holiday a HO! HO! HO! TIME INSTEAD OF A NO! NO! NO! REGRET 

     

    Happy Holidays,
    Loving you,
    Marilyn

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