Are you clear & committed to happiness in your life or are you just whining your way through it?
Do you have a habit of complaining about what you don’t like and don’t do anything to right it?
Is all your focus on comparing, gossiping, and judging others instead of creating happiness for yourself?
Are you seeing everything that is wrong about you, others and the world? Are you complaining about what other people have and you don’t?
Because if you are, you are wasting your energy and time! This will get you nothing but more things to whine and bitch about and cause you more stress and faster aging.
Maybe your problem is just that you have a hard time receiving, without guild, for doing absolutely nothing in return? If that’s the case, stop by my Huffington Post article “How to Become a Better Receiver, or Why it’s ok to just get Things.“
To change your downer experiences you have to change your current thoughts to thoughts that make you feel happy, now. Happiness is an inside job, meaning you are the one deciding to feel it or not. Yes it is a choice so when you automatically start to whine about something catch yourself and choose to find something you can appreciate in the moment instead of looking for something that rubs you the wrong way. This new focus requires you to be committed, to not loose sight of the new thoughts and feelings, and hold them in your consciousness more than your unconscious habits of complaining and judging.
If you are not clearly focused and committed to your happiness, your energy will be scattered and you will feel stuck repeating your situation over and over, day after day, till you decide there is a good enough reason to change it.
Here is a good reason to stop complaining about what isn’t and start committing to what you desire:
You are wasting your life, hurting your health, causing yourself more stress and trauma around issues that don’t matter! You are wasting your genius, gifts, love, service, time, and energy and the time and energy of others who are in your circle of influence. You are NOT contributing with your complaining and judgement…you are not benefiting anyone!
Instead of whining, change your circumstances by first getting clear what would need to happen to make you happy. Then think about the next step that would move you in that direction and take it. For example, when I go to a restaurant, if I don’t like where they are going to seat me, I ask to be moved to another table that I would prefer instead of quietly steaming and not enjoying my meal. Rarely do I get turned down. The fact is that they didn’t seat me in a particular spot to displease me or make me unhappy. It just seemed like a table as good as any to them. But if I don’t let them know that I prefer a different place, they can’t know it. If I don’t like how something was cooked (which rarely happens) I will respectfully ask to send it back and I learned not to feel bad about it.
I DON’T SETTLE! I AM COMMITTED TO MY HAPPINESS!
If you change the way you look at things,
the things you look at change.
Examine this statement. Is money what really makes you happy? Beliefs we pick up growing up, through our families, religion, culture, media etc. are not true for ourselves most of the time or beneficial for us personally and professionally. Question your beliefs and make new ones that you can commit to and lead you towards your happiness. When you’re committed you will manifest more quickly what you desire because you are aligned with your values and inspirations.
If you are struggling to stop complaining, read this clever and fun NY Magazine article Melissa Dahl, who went “7 Days without complaining.” Now, the trick is that its not even about the complaining part. As you might read in the article, there are some minor benefits to complaining. The focus I have is on complaining without making changes for the better. Remember what Albert Einstein said about doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result? Yes, it’s insanity! And that’s why we must make changes for the better. Watch yourself and your thoughts and make sure you are not focusing on the wrong things in life. Venting to get it out of your system and moving on to better things is one thing, but complaining about something over and over, just to make conversation, or to distract yourself from the work it might take to actually cause change or be happy is a rabbit hole you don’t want to go down.
To allow yourself happiness, you will need to change your mindset about how you feel about yourself and let go of the beliefs and thoughts that have kept you from having more happiness in your life.
Those beliefs could be:
- I don’t deserve to be happy
- I have to work hard to be happy
- I am not good enough so how could I ever be good enough to be happy?
- Life sucks
- The world is unsafe
- I’m unlovable
- I’m a victim
- I never get what I want
- It’s not right for me to be happy when other’s are suffering
Make sure you are aware of your own Saboteur! Learn more about it HERE.
Releasing or reprogramming these old messages that are lies is key to up-lifting your energy. You have to be willing to receive and enjoy being happier. Happiness is an energy and learning to hold that level of energy for longer periods of time each day is key to raising your level of happiness and attracting new things over your lifetime.
The work you need to do to change a situation or the direction of your life needs to happen inside. Working harder, giving more of yourself, sacrificing yourself and worrying doesn’t make your life better or happier, or help anyone else.
Ready to transform your life?
The time is NOW. What you do now affects the rest of your life and influences others. Every moment is a choice and you are the director of your life. Are you awake and making conscious committed choices to be happy? Ask yourself these questions over and over. Is this my belief or a learned belief? Is this making me happy? Is this serving me? Is this helping me up-level my life? And if you don’t want to take the next step alone and want some guidance with your transformational work, make sure you check out my Transform Your Life Packages.
P.S. Setting boundaries is also part of taking charge and up-leveling your life. Click Here for the FREE Boundaries Video/Audio Package