It’s that time of the year again! Stress and tensions can run high during this holiday season because we are worried about money, family obligations, time and meeting other’s expectations. On top of the holidays stress, we have a lot of uncertainty about all the changes happening around the world. All of this will rock our already shaky internal foundation and put us in overwhelm, anxiety and fear. Let’s stop holiday stress and fill up with more joy and connection.
These stressors can make it difficult to remember why we are coming together. Celebration, family and joy can shift with a word or action of disappointment or misunderstanding. Visiting relatives can trigger past memories, emotions and traumas, consciously or unconsciously, that can turn us back into that vulnerable and wounded child.
I have 5 steps you can take to smooth out the bumps and have you feeling more secure and grounded no matter what happens this holiday and beyond.
Depending on how you manage your thoughts and emotions, will determine
the outcome of your experiences.
Practice these 5 steps to keep you sane this holiday season.
1. When other people do, say or react remember, It’s not about you!
When someone reacts, say to yourself, “It’s not about me!”
Don’t take things personally. You are not the center of their universe, they are.
How people react and feel is the result of the “meaning” they put on an event. It has to do with what they believe about themselves and the world. People’s reactions are their responsibility and are a result of their beliefs, habits and childhood programming.
2. Take responsible for your triggers, thoughts, emotions and actions. Stop projecting your thoughts and feelings onto others.
No one can make you feel anything. Someone can tell you that you are ugly but, unless you believe it and feel it is true, you won’t let it bother you. It may feel like their words and actions are making you feel not good enough, perfect enough, embarrassed, broken, weak…etc, but it is your own beliefs that influences your emotions.
Simply notice what your thoughts and feelings are and what you are believing about yourself, without beating up yourself. You’ll bring into your consciousness what has been running your life choices unconsciously.
Then ask yourself, “What do I need for my well-being?” or “How can I love myself more right now.” Look at your choices and make one.
3. Take care of yourself energetically, mind, body and spirit. We are made of energy and we are receiving and projecting energy all day long. As energy beings we are like radio towers tuning in on other people’s frequencies around us. We can pick up and own a lot of energetic information that is not ours.
So it is really important to clear your energy field (your body and the space around you).
- Clear your energy of other people’s energy field
Set up an energetic boundary to keep from taking on everyone’s energy into your energy field and owning it as yours. It will give you space to observe it from a distance
- Lower your daily stress
~ give yourself time alone
~ give yourself plenty of time to do what you need to do
~ get plenty of sleep
~ drink lots of water, limit alcohol and sugary drinks
~ eat nourishing food, limit sugar
~ move your body intentionally swim, yoga, pilates, walk
~ meditate 20 minutes a day, twice if you can
~ create emotional support with a friend you can call who will listen to you and help you not take everything so seriously and remind you, “it’s not about you” and what you have control over. And you can be their support.
4. Plan what you do WANT your holiday to be like.
Set your intention as to what you want each day and experience to be like.
What you focus on YOU CREATE!
Most people focus their attention on what they don’t want and end up having those terrible experiences become their reality. Here a few examples:
- Lack of money or time,
- Holidays are stressful and overwhelming,
- Socializing terrifies me,
- Traveling makes me anxious,…etc
So, What do you want your holiday to feel like? Filled with grace, creativity, joy, gratitude , mellow, freedom, ease, flow, festive, celebration, grateful, mindful, loving, compassionate, abundant, serving…etc.
Journal about it and start day dreaming on what you want this holiday to be like.
- Who do you want to spend your time with? How does it make you feel? Why?
- What is important to you during this time? How does it make you feel? Why?
Traditions, connection, family, creativity, gift giving, celebration, spirituality, religion, caroling, socializing, cooking…
- Where do you want to be? How does it make you feel? Why?
Families home, host from your home, snow, tropical, spiritual retreat, community, caroling, kitchen, church
- What will you have to change in yourself in order to make this happen? Why is it worth it?
5. Take action to create what you want.
Make your self care and desires a priority.
Visualize every morning and evening before bed what you envisioned in Step 4. Feel the feelings and see yourself already doing, having and being what you dreamed up above. Hold those feelings and desires throughout your day making decisions and plans from that consciousness. If you don’t know the “Hows” that is Ok…Ask the Universe/Source/God to show you the way and help you. Stay focused on your intention, one step at a time and feel grateful for each step and result.